I apologize for the sloppiness.
So.
What's next, you ask?
This...
This is next.
It's always true.
If you are still electric and flowing, this (or that) always comes next.
Observe, god damn it...
Detach!
Regulate, god damn it!
Enjoy...
How are you doing today?
Well....
Well.
(Deep, man...deep)
Merry Christmas!
Go fuck yourself!
Dear Reader,
My recent television viewing has increased dramatically in the last year or so....
Post-divorce, I went years with only sporadic trips into the great mystery called television......
(mostly Green bay Packer games, I might add).
After about four years of avoidance, I finally caved in and installed a digital antenna last fall.
Why?
Two words: LOCAL NEWS.
As another Milwaukee winter approached, I wanted to receive up-to-the-minute winter-weather updates.
Not only did I feel like I deserved such vital information,
I felt like I deserved to be thoroughly entertained in the process....(sorry internets).
Growing up, I watched the local news religiously...Mostly the NBC affiliate, Channel 4....
Melody Wilson
Mike Gousha
Mike Jacobs at six
Paul Joseph
Jim Ott
Kevin Hunt sports
(Word to the wise....never name your child Michael Hunt....It will inevitably turn into Mike Hunt...
That just sounds bad.)
Where were we?
That's right....LOCAL NEWS.
You need to know something about me, dear reader....As my world-view evolved throughout my 20's, I grew to HATE the LOCAL NEWS, and I blamed it for causing unnecessary anxiety and worry in my life (A.K.A. "the mean world syndrome").
I rarely tuned in, and when i did, i mocked it endlessly.
For me,
Milwaukee + LOCAL NEWS =
I need to move the fuck away from here before another winter hits; before i lose my fucking mind (again)...
So there i was last fall, staring down the barrel of another Milwaukee winter.
Tuning into Milwaukee's LOCAL NEWS, trying to avoid any and all negative value judgements....
I have to say, once i detached, watching the LOCAL NEWS felt like sort of a homecoming.
It's so beautiful, isn't it?...
Its absurd repetition comforting to me.
Ingesting brain-altering substances will impair rational thinking.
Intense emotions sometimes lead to violent outcomes.
Sometimes, someone from the community does something good/worthy of recognition.
The weather (past, present and future) is analyzed.
Competitions included winners, losers, and the spirit of it all.
And then it snows,
like it does every year when angle of the sun changes.
"If it bleeds, it leads" is replaced with "storm team coverage."
Random people talking about the weather...
At gas stations,
on freeway overpasses,
and outside their house while shoveling.
In newsrooms and live on camera,
people are getting paid to talk about the weather.
Twenty-eight years old...
A professional television news reporter's first winter in Milwaukee...
"With all due respect to Omaha, it's a step up from Omaha."
Still young enough for those New York, prime time dreams....
And he feels like standing above I-43 in the middle of the storm is beneath him...
The technical director back at the station laughs at him when the blowing snow pelts his pretty face, and the producer laughs too, because they both know the guy's an asshole, and he'll never make the primetime anchor desk, unless it's back in Omaha, of course...(chuckle chuckle)
For those of you who don't know me, i need to get one thing straight here.
I, dear reader, am not an asshole.
At times i used to be, but i blame that on the stupidity of youth more than anything.
Have you ever wished for another person's failure?
i know i do....
Every Sunday during the football season....
(Jay Cutler especially)...
That doesn't make me an asshole, though
I'll be honest, here.
I love all human beings....
i have a genuine hope that everyone achieves true happiness and peace in their life....
Not just every once in a while....
Not just on the weekends.....
On a daily basis.
Not just around family and friends....
Everywhere....
Every hour, if at all possible....
Find it within.
Eliminate your suffering....
within
every moment.
or as many as possible....
(without exploiting/destroying, as much as possible)
On a side note, I want to argue for the tenets of "Compassionate Capitalism,"
a concept i coined on a notecard some nine years ago.
"Socialist!"
Not me, folks....I'm from Milwaukee...
(Ha. Ha. Ha.)
(i've said this before)
Keep reading....Scroll down.
I'll be honest....After about six months of watching the local news,
i was sick of it again.......
comforting?....
yes....
stimulating?....
hardly.
(hard news, soft news, weather, and sports)....
same shit, different day if you're depressed,
which i was when i was falling asleep to Jay Leno's monologue last spring....
Maybe i wasn't depressed....Exhausted is the better word....I, much like the talent on the LOCAL NEWS, talk for a living....But I hate talking....Total introvert over here...Talking wears me out...(more on this later).
Falling asleep to The Tonight Show DID get me wondering, though....Does Leno write his own stuff?
Or is he just really good at reading from a TelePrompTer?
I hope for your success, even if you're an asshole at times.
I hope you have the courage and ability to overcome your suffering.
Even you, Jay Cutler.
Even you, Jay Leno.
Keep going...
Now that i have cable television, i watch ESPN....Leno and the nightly news are dead to me now.
Yes, i am a more evolved creature because of this.
I insulate my consciousness from the ills of the world before i go to sleep...
Don't get me wrong....I still read the paper....I'm aware of the distinct possibility that Mitt Romney could be America's next president....Mostly, though, i don't want my consciousness cluttered with negative imagery after sundown....
When it comes down to it, sports is guaranteed to offer me an innocent retreat, full of intrigue and spirit. It's an unpredictable, passionate theater of escape, filled with enough multi-layered subtexts to keep grown men talking to each other (like girls talk) for hours/years/lifetimes....
With sports, anxiety and worry are washed away...
I forget that i'm approaching 40.
i forget that i'm on a slow and steady march towards death.
The world's (and my own) problems put on hold until tomorrow....
In the world of sports, there are few murders and zero co-sleeping deaths...
Only legends die on ESPN, with a wink and a nod to their younger days,
when they operated at their peak....
Politics and religion?
They rarely enter the conversation on ESPN....
I only recently discovered that Ryan Braun is Jewish....
"The Hebrew Hammer" as i come to find out....
Money?
I'll bet you a hundred dollars that Aaron Rogers doesn't think about money on Sundays.
My positions is, despite the influence of big money in professional sports, the actual games remain pure; full of blood and sweat, spirit and heart...
Another plus?
We have no idea what will come next in the sports world....
Vegas doesn't post odds on the weather.
You can predict a few homicides in Milwaukee on Memorial Day weekend....
Especially if it's a hot one...
How sad!
How depressing!
To recap:
Vegas doesn't post odds on the weather.
I Enjoy escaping into specific television programs,
especially sports at night,
anything involving the Green Bay Packers,
and storm team coverage of major snow storms....
i may or may not have been depressed last spring.
i love all humans.
i coined the term, "Compassionate Capitalism," and will sue your ass off if you, in any way, profit from its usage.
i get paid to talk, but....more on this later,
when time and energy are on my side.
Breaking News: Writing like this makes my back hurt.
Good night...
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